Why Learning To Say No Is So Important

December 14, 2019

Welcome to the subject of how to say no and why it’s so important.

One of my great mentors, Mr Bert Anderson once told me, “Pat, you need to learn to say no. You’re living in a very stressful environment because you say yes to everybody.”

Most times we don’t say no because we want to be people-pleasers, and what we do is self-sabotage our convictions, our values, our lives, and our emotional state. Here’s some practical things that you must understand to help us to really say no.

You Can Change It

Number one, realise that if you say no you can always change it to a yes later. I always thought I had to say yes. You and I both know it’s harder to change a yes to a no, than it is to change a no to a yes. Understand that if something’s agitating you your first port of call is to say no or not now. Or if you want me to say yes now you probably will get a no out of me. But if you give me a chance to think you may just get what you want.

Preferences Versus Values

Secondly, it’s important to say no when something goes against your convictions. Do you know what? Not one of us cares less about our preferences, but many of us will die for our convictions. It’s important to stay aligned with your convictions and your values and learn to go no.

The times that I’ve come in to turmoil in my life whether a presenter, speaker, father, husband, wife, grandfather is when I’ve said yes to something that I was convinced I should’ve said no to, all because I wanted to be popular.

Let me tell you something. Popularity is vain. The first person you need to be popular with and to is yourself. And that means saying no. Life is built oftentimes on no.

Not Necessarily A Negative

And no, which is my third point is not a negative. No can be a safe place. No can be a place where you’re aligning with your values. Saying no can be something that keeps you more healthy. Saying no can mean something that stops you from putting on weight. Learning to say no will add so many benefits to you.

That doesn’t mean you’re only going, no, no, no. If you say no to certain things you can say yes to other things. If your life is so busy because you’ve said yes to everything you’ve got no time for anything else.

Without confusing you, when you and I decide to get married we say yes to here and we say no to here. It’s refusing and choosing, that’s all there is, it’s a refusing and a choosing. I refuse that and I choose this. And if we can take a positive spin on that no it can bring so much more freedom to our lives.

For many years I worked in drug rehabilitation, and the sad part was is that these boys did not learn how to say no to something that was destroying their lives.

That door was opened because of a tragic yes. That yes led them to a life of a downward spiral. And at some point, they had to learn to say no to drugs. They had to say no to the associations.

What is it in your life right now that you need to say no?

Is it someone?

Is it something?

Is it some way that someone speaks to you?

“I don’t like the way they talk to me.”

So why do you keep saying yes to that verbiage that comes out of their mouth?

If you will learn to say no your life will be more prosperous, your mind will be in a healthier state. Your spirit will be freer. You’ll be able to say yes to many other things that right now are probably avoiding you or escaping you because your life became too busy.

I want to help you really engage with a much powerful force in your life, your heart. And your heart sometimes when it says no stick to it. It will lead you to a freer life, more abundant life, and more prosperous lifestyle.

Don’t forget to say no!